I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
