it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
