but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize