I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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