I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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