I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
