i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Drunk is not a location!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
