Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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