It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
