I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
