If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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