i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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