Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
