i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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