Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize