His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
