there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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