Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
