i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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