can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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