You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
