I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
