Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize