I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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