So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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