Small penises have feelings too.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
