oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
