D3 body, D1 cock
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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