Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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