i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
