I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
