I'm so fucking centered right now
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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