we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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