Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
