she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
