he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
