So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
