Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
