his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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