I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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