Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
