don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize