tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
