Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
