The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
