so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
