I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
