I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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