I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
