So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize