You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize