For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
