he puts the penis in happiness.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
All the doctor said was why
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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