Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Randomize
