He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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