Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
