PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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