You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
